After viewing the Revolutionary Road DVD

God how depressing. That's me. That Leo character is me. I'm stuck in this rut. This soulless job. I have to do something else. But I can't. Because.

1. My job has daycare.
2. Need to pay for E.'s private school this year.

What's even more depressing: I see myself having a conversation with E. 15 years from now, trying to tell her, she can do anything. Don't settle. Do what you love. And yet, and yet, it won't ring true. Because it won't be true.

Not unless I change something before then. The Wife is in a similar boat. Maybe worse, because she makes even more money than I do.

Why this I watch this damn thing?

Teaching Lil G. to Read

G. is 16 months old. I've started to teach her how to read using the, "How to Teach Your Baby to Read," book.

We'll see how it goes.

E's Poem

“Washing Machines are Heads, Heads are Washing Machines”

Everybody’s head is a washing machine

Haven’t you heard of your brain?

The lines in it are wrinkles

From being in the machine too long

Oh, how we need a dryer!

E. is five years old. She was inspired by Shel Silverstein’s poem, “Shadow Wash.”

I Feel Just Like a Hypocrite

So little E. is graduating from pre-school and we have to write a little inspiration note to be read at the ceremony. And I've been wracking my brain to write something inspiring to a precocious five-year-old.

I'm reading Emerson's Self-Reliance essay and a collection of essays from NPR's "This I Believe" series. I so want her to chase her dreams, never give up, find something she loves to do ...

I really believe these things, but I don't live them. There's the rub.

This happens when you're a parent

This is the song I sing when I help E. comb her hair:

To the tune of Boy George's "Karma Chameleon."

Comb-a, Comb-a, Comb-leon.
We're combing up, we're coming down...

Repeat.

Life with Gifted Child, Part 1

E. is now 5 years old. She's been reading for a couple of years now. She gets so engrossed in a book that she won't hear anything.

Me: E., E.!!? Time to get jammied up.
Me: E., please get into your pajamas.
Me: E., can you get into your jammies?

Nothing. Head still stuck in book. Finally...

Me: E., get out of your clothes and if you can answer these questions, you can win back your pajamas.

Quick as a flash, she strips off her clothes and gets her pajamas.

E: Go ahead. I'm ready.
Me: Okay, if you can answer this question, you can put on your pajama top: What's the capital of California?
E: Sacramento.
Me: Now for your bottoms, if you have 20 bananas and you buy 5 more, how many bananas do you have?
E: 25.

Life is Too Short For ...

1. Cheap beer.
2. Folding underwear.

Too be continued.

I Rarely Unconditioally Recommend a Book...

A Season of Life, by Jeffrey Marx. If you have kids, even if you don't and want to know how be a Man, this is the book.

I rarely recommend books, but I've already told two co-workers about it. Two with sons. And I'm not quite finished the book yet. It's that good.

It's about football. But much more than that. It's about building a man. The right definition of a man. And that if you don't teach these things to your kids, someone else (like the drug dealer on the corner street) or something else (like the media) will define it for them.

And that's how we get so messed up. The vicious cycle continues. That we have such unfulfilling relationships with our fathers. Because they were never taught how to be a man, and thus never passed those important lessons down to us. The stuff in this book. That's why a song like The Living Years by Mike and Mechanics touched and resonated with so many grown men.

We men are emotional icebergs. And this book made me think about my father and also an incident at a company party four years ago. The co-worker was so drunk he was going around telling all the other guys, "I love you man." People were slightly embarrassed and thought strange, but it was ok only because he was drunk.

And now, because of this book, why is it strange? Why can't a guy tell another guy he loves him?

And I'm trying to adapt these principles to raising my two little girls. I want to:

• Every day, tell them I love them.
• Be comfortable in your skin. You are not defined by boys, money or media.
  
• It's all about relationships -- you to your family, and others, and not about money or possessions.
• Success and happiness is about having a higher purpose outside yourself. Have a positive impact on others. Leave the world a better place than you entered it.

Run to your library and check out this book.

E. at Trader Joe's

So we're shopping at the local Trader Joe's over the weekend, and we stop at the free sample station. The guy there is super nice. He gives E. a balloon, and extra samples of the free food, which included some chocolate animal crackers.

Then he asks her if she wants a big cookie.
E. says, "No. Thank you."

I'm shocked. A kid says no to cookies? "You sure? How come you declined the cookie?" says I.
"Well, I've already had a lot of sugar today."

Wow. She's freakin' four years old, for god sakes. Every time, I think I can't love this little one any more, she pulls out something like this.