Friday, March 02, 2007

Why Are BMW Owners Such Pricks?

It's an honest question. One that comes to mind quite a bit. And I ask it in genuine wonderment.

And I ask because I, myself am a BMW owner. A 318i, thank you very much. But when I'm driving the wife's non-Beemer, I'm constantly getting cut off by total assholes and they all happen to be in BMWs. Self-important little pricks talking on their cellphones in a hurry hurry to get wherever they need to be.

So what is it? Are assholes attracted to Beemers or do Beemers create assholes?
I genuinely want to know.

Because I'm worried. Because I'm ready to upgrade from my 3-series piece of crap and I'm really coveting a 5-series, maybe even a 6-series. Yeah, right. (Let's see if we can get the wife to not notice the 30 to 40 grand difference.) Honestly, I don't want to be more of a prick than I already am.

The ultimate driving assholes, indeed.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Ultimate Driving Asshole,

What an assholish thing of you to say! Ive never considered BMW drivers to be assholes until I read your post and realized what an asshole must have wrote it, and unfortunately, its a BMW driving asshole which absolutely confirms your theory.

So please, stop driving BMW's cus its seriously making us beemer guys look bad. Especially with your whiny post. Asshole!

-Dave the Ultimate Anti-Asshole

12:04 PM  
Blogger quiet storm said...

there's an old joke, "what's the difference between a porcupine and a beemer? with a beemer, the prick is on the inside"

BMW makes a great car, no doubt but for some reason many self-important a-holes think that just because they drive a BMW they've "arrived" and everyone else needs to get out of their way.
Can't blame the car, those people were pricks back when they owned a Honda....

11:40 AM  
Anonymous jamesmallon said...

Anyone who'd spend so much money on something so bad for their society and their planet, as well as their waistline (non-driving urbanites are thinner) in pursuit of status, instead of using that money to the greater good, has to be a prick. No question.

You own a BMW: you're a prick. QED.

11:07 AM  

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