Friday, March 02, 2007

Why Are BMW Owners Such Pricks?

It's an honest question. One that comes to mind quite a bit. And I ask it in genuine wonderment.

And I ask because I, myself am a BMW owner. A 318i, thank you very much. But when I'm driving the wife's non-Beemer, I'm constantly getting cut off by total assholes and they all happen to be in BMWs. Self-important little pricks talking on their cellphones in a hurry hurry to get wherever they need to be.

So what is it? Are assholes attracted to Beemers or do Beemers create assholes?
I genuinely want to know.

Because I'm worried. Because I'm ready to upgrade from my 3-series piece of crap and I'm really coveting a 5-series, maybe even a 6-series. Yeah, right. (Let's see if we can get the wife to not notice the 30 to 40 grand difference.) Honestly, I don't want to be more of a prick than I already am.

The ultimate driving assholes, indeed.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Ultimate Driving Asshole,

What an assholish thing of you to say! Ive never considered BMW drivers to be assholes until I read your post and realized what an asshole must have wrote it, and unfortunately, its a BMW driving asshole which absolutely confirms your theory.

So please, stop driving BMW's cus its seriously making us beemer guys look bad. Especially with your whiny post. Asshole!

-Dave the Ultimate Anti-Asshole

12:04 PM  
Blogger quiet storm said...

there's an old joke, "what's the difference between a porcupine and a beemer? with a beemer, the prick is on the inside"

BMW makes a great car, no doubt but for some reason many self-important a-holes think that just because they drive a BMW they've "arrived" and everyone else needs to get out of their way.
Can't blame the car, those people were pricks back when they owned a Honda....

11:40 AM  
Anonymous jamesmallon said...

Anyone who'd spend so much money on something so bad for their society and their planet, as well as their waistline (non-driving urbanites are thinner) in pursuit of status, instead of using that money to the greater good, has to be a prick. No question.

You own a BMW: you're a prick. QED.

11:07 AM  

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