Joke more and live longer. Smile already

They say humor adds 10 years to your life. I'm not kidding. I read that somewhere. I think in a book of jokes. If that's true, then I'm living to a 150. So smile already. If you're not, here's a couple of tips to try to lighten up your day, or the day of some other drone that just goes through the motions, however illogical or mindless.

Tip #1: At the Supermarket: Right after "paper or plastic?", the inevitable, mandatory question seems to be, "Do you need help to your car with that?" or some variation. Does not matter if you're male, fit, healthy, and buying one freakin' half pint of Ben & Jerry's. No, they still gotta ask that question. And most people reply, "No, Thank you."

But here's the tip. Here's my response, "Uhmm (pause) ..." then, "No, thank you, not today." Give it try.

Tip #2: At a Restaurant: This is a variation on the above. After they serve you the meal and you've had a chance to taste it, the server comes around and asks, "How is it?" and most people reply, "Fine," or "Great" or something similar. But my response is always, "Uhm..." and I think about it. As if I'm trying to say something negative, kind of like I'm trying to figure out how to break it to them gently. Meanwhile, the server is on edge. She's worried. Waiting with anxious anticipation. Then I say, "Fine, thanks."

But wait, here's a bonus tip. If you're out and about shopping, at say, Staples or a toy store, and someone mistakes you for an employee. By all means, play along. Help them. Answer their question. Offer a discount.

Have a nice day.